All day today I felt this dread, it will be one week tomorrow since you left us and I still can’t believe it’s true. I see you, Bubby Girl, in everything I do and everywhere I go. I miss you…
I had so many plans for you Little Love, and I know you’d have run into each one head first with your intrepid spirit and your sweet, happy way. Even if it was going to be training, it would have been all fun and games. You would have made sure of that I know. You came to us knowing how to sit… with your funny little wiggle waddle as you went from one place to the next and then *bink* you’d sit… walk a bit and *bink* sit. You learned that one very quick along with the help of some treats. I know now your dad was teaching you to roll over, he said you did it so well. It was going to be a surprise one day when his Cutie Shoes would do it for him to show me just how well you learned this new trick. So many new things were in your future and I know you would have loved every one of them. I miss you…
I have been trying not to think about tomorrow, but it’s looming ahead right along with this inevitable night. I dread the morning and the sound of my alarm. I had to change it, I can’t hear that tune it played ever again. I wish I could turn back time to a week ago. Hindsight… and all the “if only’s” that come along with it crush my heart over and over again.
If only… it was this time last week, I would give you more treats after dinner. I would cuddle you longer as we watched TV and I would keep you with me, wrapped in my arms and pressed tight to my side all night long as you slept beside me and I wouldn’t put you in your house to sleep at all. I would shut off the alarm and lock all the doors extra tight. I would shut out the world and it would be just you and me and your dad and the monkey. I would sleep with you all morning and not get up until the early afternoon when you demanded food. I would have kept you with me all day long and never let you go. If only I could have that time back, I’d treasure every second and cherish every moment… because I miss you…
I don’t want to go to bed… I can’t think about sleep… I don’t want tomorrow to come because it’ll mean you’ve been gone for exactly one week. I miss you with all my heart Bubby Girl… oh how I miss you…
