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I just woke up and rubbed my eyes and the first image in my mind was from two mornings ago about this same time when I looked down into her house and she was all curled up sound asleep. I reached down and ran my hand over her soft fur and down her warm little body. She turned her head and looked up at me and slowly rolled over, half asleep to give my her warm belly to rub. All the trust and love in the world was in that one movement and that one look on my Betty’s face. I loved her lil face so much… I could kiss it and stare into her eyes and look at her for hours. I’ll cherish that last long gaze we had in the darkness of the bedroom, just Betty and I and I’ll cherish that image of her in my mind… and I’ll be haunted by it forever. A terrible storm was literally raging outside with weather warnings and pounding rain that shook our windows… If that wasn’t a sign NOT to go, to just pick her up and pull her against my chest and lay back down in bed with her – then that one look on our precious little girls face should have been… I snapped four photos of her that morning because I got a lump in my throat and my heart ached from how sweet she looked. I feel like I have betrayed her… I can’t lay in my bed in the morning anymore without thinking of this image of her… I can’t lay there anymore because I am suffocating.


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