It’s been two weeks today since you left us. I still feel as raw and shattered thinking about it, perhaps even more than last week because of all of the things that should have happened today.
We should have had two weeks with you healing and being spoiled and pampered, coming to work with me most days to keep you calm and today you should have been getting your stitches removed.
It would have been a big day for all of us, finally you could start to play again with your Fred! I know he misses you. He’s been acting so strange since the day the you left us. He’s on edge and barks wildly at odd things like the fan in the living room and bedroom. He just darts off frantic and it worries your dad and me. We are trying to give him lots of love but only you can give him what he needs and it breaks my heart all over again that we can’t make him understand what happened. It’s so unfair… and so cruel what happened to you and to us and your whole family and everyone who knew you and loved you too. I am getting so mad and frustrated at the injustice of your passing. You were only 6 months old… it’s not how your life should have ended, not when we were doing what was right. You should have had such a long and spoiled and loved life with us and your Fred. It just shouldn’t have happened.
So many questions and self-doubts rage within me and all I can do it cry them back out… We’ll never know why, we will only know that you were here for a brief moment in time and you left your mark on everyone you touched. I told the man with the big Rottweiler about your passing last night, he knew from the nice people who walk by the house every day and who fell in love with you too. So many people Bubby Girl… you touched so many people with your beautiful little spirit. I am so selfish though… because you were my baby girl and I am so mad that you were taken away from me, from us… I am floating, but the waves wash over me leaving me gasping for a breath on days like today…
You should be on the brink of a new adventure, just days away you’d have been given freedom to sleep where you wished… Your little house’s door was about to left open because you would be 7 months old and all healed up and ready for a new chapter in your life. All these things the should be happening are just my shattered dreams and ruined plans washing over me leaving me sputtering and drenched in sadness because you’re not here Bubby Girl… You live only in our hearts and memories now. How sad and unfair that is and also how blessed we are for having even a moment with you… my Bubby Girl… our Betty. Be in peace our little love…
